Dating in your 20's...

                I have some friends my age who complain about dating and relationships in their 20’s. Frankly I don’t know what’s wrong with them. This is the best it gets! You’re out of college so you can officially date around without being a slut and people don’t give you the “poor thing she may NEVER find someone” look yet when you walk into a party without a date attached to your arm. You can date around and have all of the fun you want (pretty much for free mind you) without being frowned upon. I mean seriously, what more could you ask for?!

                So what’s the limit you may ask? How many people can you date at once without becoming an asshole or just a big fat slut? The answer is easy… your stove. I personally have 5 burners on my stove which entitles me to 5 men at any given time that I can be dating. I like to keep 1 semi-serious dish brewing whom I can rely on in case of a bad day, a freak accident, or a move (make sure this one’s got muscles J). I then like to keep 1 or 2 purely for fun. These ones should have enough cash to support both your drinking and eating habits without you feeling guilty you’re cutting into their rent check. Then of course you’ve got to have one for physical purposes but hopefully this one can overlap with either fun or reliable. Lastly, you’ve got the infamous “backburner” who’s there to call when none of the other assholes will answer your semi-overlydesperate drunk texts at 1am.  I usually like to keep 1 burner open for new prospects because if you’re still on a burner…well burners eventually run out of gas, don’t they? The day you find one that satisfies all of these things…turn the burners off dinners ready ladies! Oh and one more rule…only keep ONE in the oven (aka your bed) at once because really? This isn’t college anymore STDs are no longer socially acceptable (wait were they ever??). No really though let’s keep it classy.

                Another question arose while going over the “burner” rules with a friend of mine. She only has 2 burners and a skillet…what does this mean? Well now that’s up to you to decide. A lesbian relationship?  One really inappropriate fling?

Happy cooking ladies.

Here we go...

So I’ve never been big into blogging but have recently been persuaded by my next door neighbor to take it up due to my unreasonably inappropriate and entertaining lifestyle. I’m also getting ready to go through some pretty significant life changes so I figured I’d entertain the world (aka my 2 readers) with my stresses, tears, and ridiculous situations I periodically find (put) myself in.  

But I figure though if I’m going to do this…we need to set some ground rules:

1)      If you are in my immediate family, are a good friend of mine, or have ever hooked up/dated me/intend to date me, I must advise that you don’t read this due to the fact that you’re probably in it and will most likely be offended by what I have to say.

2)      For all you creepers and stalkers out there I must warn you that I am armed with a green belt in karate as well as a very nice pair of blue nun chucks which although I don’t exactly know how to hurt somebody with… I can do some pretty intimidating routines with.

3)      If you are offended by foul language, vulgar topics, sex, or drugs…probably not the blog for you to keep up with

Other than that happy reading :-)